Tuesday, March 15, 2011

"I'm feeling emotional--- give me a pizza"

It doesn't matter where I live or how in control I feel ths always happens.

I remember when I first started down this healthiness journey, I was living in Illinois just a hop, skip, and a jump away from a Schnucks. It was my utter demise. Whenever I was feeling stressed or depressed, I'd get in my car and drive across the main strip to go get a frozen Scnucks cheese pizza. They became my go to food. I wouldn't eat half of it, or just a few slices, but the whole thing-- almost to a point where I felt so full I couldnt move. Deep down I knew it didnt solve the issue at hand, but for some reason it comforted me. At least I felt something else, other than stress or being sad. The need for the pizza comfort soon faded...

...until recently. Maybe it's B being gone and it wearing on me, or me just being away from my friends and family and feeling alone, but it is back full force. When I first moved here to Virginia I had found my comfort pizza brand. I ate them leisurely and it wasn't a big deal. I was down to a weight I was happy with and I was more sensible. And now I find myself wanting them almost NEEDING them and the need to eat the whole thing and feel that feeling of uncomfortableness.

The emotional side to weight and why we eat is so much harder than trying to lose the weight. I'm struggling to get these last 15 lbs off. And I'm getting so frustrated that no matter how much time in the gym I put in and how much I eat the number isn't budging! I've tried eating more, I've tried eating less...I'm just frustrated. I miss feeling happy when eating food and eating healthy food just doesn't do it for me. I need that piece of chocolate or that sweet little something in order to get by.

I know, I know everything in moderation, but I'm not doing to well at that part. I can't have it in the house or I eat it until its gone. I can guess it's mosly emotional stuff, and the fact I feel that I have no close friends that I can really relate to anymore I'm just struggling with everything.

I had another post topic ready that I was going to write, but I'm really strggling with this this evening. I actually ate the pizza as wrote this blog. I'm happy to say that I did eat half of it, and then through the other half in the trash. I suppose that's a step in the right direciton.

Any suggestions/tips on how you deal with emotional eating? I'm all ears!

Later Gators

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